Okay, so fast forwarding to 2012. Don't get me wrong, the following may seem like a pity post however it is only for historical purposes. In the summer of this year me and my son's dad split up. (He cheated, git!) Anyway, I decided to move back to Northern Ireland from England to be closer to my parents and finally moved in Dec of 2012. The decision to move was taken in November. By December 2012 I had found a flat, with next to no money (only enough for the deposit, one month's rent and the admin fees). I also owed my Dad for the moving expenses, although because my dad is truly excellent he gave me a long-term pay-me-when-you-can loan. Thank heaven for dads!.
At this point I considered giving up the Level 3 English Literature course, (I was halfway through the degree at this point) that I was doing with the OU, because I was just too stressed. I'd just got a little two-bedroom flat, but there were no tax credits, and they wouldn't award me Income Support or JSA for a person with caring responsibilities (ie single mother to use real language) because my son's Child Benefit had been being paid to my ex - the claim was in his name. They said I had to change this over into my name before I could receive it. Very skint at this point. Endeavouring to sort this out, I rang Child Benefit Helpline, they advised that it could take 12 weeks to process this claim. TWELVE WEEKS without any money?
Now I know that people who live on benefits get a hard time in the media, so let me just clarify a few truths. I may be a single mum now and may be on benefits, but it wasn't my choice to end up single, living on my own with a four year old. I wanted to give my son a stable loving environment and couldn't just leave him, after his family had disintegrated, to go to work from 9-5. Wouldn't that feel like double abandonment. Also, although having my son came a surprise, I wanted to care for him. I wanted him to feel loved, even if I hadn't planned on being a mum at all previously. Things in life change your outlook, you know? Also I was finishing my studies, I was going to plough on with the course, in fact studying came as a welcome distraction within the chaos and worry. So I planned on, staying home until the course was finished and to settle my son into life in a new place. This meant I had to rely on Income Support. From the age of 16, (and just to mention I stayed in school until I was 18 years old to get A-Levels), I have worked. Crappy summer job in a place called Party Land, then student job in Woolworths, then a short-stint in Play Resource, then another short time as a Waitress before getting office Junior job (at 20) in a law search office and a promotion to office manager after that. So I have paid tax. I have paid into the system.
After many many telephone calls, I eventually vowed to go to the local MP for help, this was Naomi Long of the Alliance party, (the one who got a lot of bad press along with others of her party for their stance on the 'flag' issue) with moving this claim on a bit. It was pretty dire, I wouldn't be able to afford the next months rent, or food or anything, and would have to live off my credit card if this claim didn't get sorted out.
I don't know what she did, or didn't do. She said she'd make some phone calls and see how she could move the process along, but thankfully it only took around four weeks to get the notification through of the Child Benefit claim change. This got the ball rolling for everything else, and after many more phone calls, (Tax Credit helpline, Housing Benefit office (NIHE), Child Benefit and Jobs and Benefits Office) - yes it takes you to be in contact with all of these departments individually - we finally had the ball rolling, and to my delight they agreed to back date the payments I'd missed for the first couple of months.
(Warning: Pity part)
Some people may be judgmental but I'll just explain that all of this was incredibly hard. My life had gone down the tubes, I was relying on benefits, my son was now being brought up in a single-parent family - which I never wanted for him, I had had no money, I was worried I wasn't going to get the support I needed, I'd had to move house from England, changing my whole life upside down and was dealing with the guilt of our family breakdown and it's effect on my young son. At this point, it was only the thought of my son that kept me getting up in the morning and persevering. I include this because, I want to make it clear that you can have things going for you, and a couple of bad decisions (which are only bad with the benefit of hindsight, by the way), some bad luck and the next minute you can find yourself almost homeless and in a panic. We all are, to to varying extents, standing on the top of a house of cards - just a couple of knocks and your life can easily come crashing down around you.
(Pity part over now)
Things began to look up.
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